The Real Culprit

Sunday morning I showed up at church to discover two disemboweled and partially devoured pigeons on the front stoop. This isn't a really strange occurrence because the church is plagued with pigeons and frequently hawks hunt in the area.

As a joke, I drew two chalk outlines of birds around the bloodstains and scattered feathers, a subtle joke about my wife's former career as a crime scene investigator.

The next day, one of our volunteers comes in and goes, "some kids have engaged in a Satanic ritual on the front of the church!"

"No, I'm pretty sure it was a hawk."

"It can't be! A hawk couldn't have drawn those pictures!"